"I have no idea what you are doing, Mr. Mark, but it's FASCINATING"

Grrrr... sorry to make another lousy Monday post, but Dreyfus couldn't get his medicine at Dr. K's today. One of his blood check numbers is too far off to risk going to the next drug yet. I put it on the line with Dr. K, though: I don't ever want Dreyfus to suffer... so before we risk making him suffer, I want to put him down. I know this story doesn't have a "Dreyfus lives happily ever after" ending, so I refuse to be one of those folks who tries to hold on at any cost. Dr. K said he understands where I'm at, and we shouldn't give up yet, so I'll trust his opinion.

Dreyfus' quality of life is still off the charts. He gets as much attention from me as any dog could want, and he enjoys food/walks/tuggies/etc.. I wish I had a way to say "Well, his quality of life is 100 today, it will be 50 tomorrow, 0 Wednesday, and -20 Thursday, so I should put him down no later than Wednesday." Of course, there is no way to determine this. The last time he got sick, he was FINE on Saturday night, and sick on Sunday afternoon. The math geek in me says I should maximize the integral of quality of life over time (ie "keep Dreyfus alive until he can't enjoy doing the stuff he enjoys, hopefully putting him down before his quality of life goes negative.") But the caretaker in me says it is wrong to risk letting his quality of life go negative, ever (ie "put him down while he still doesn't have a clue that something is wrong.") Both courses of action could be "right", with the only "wrong" course of action being to let Dreyfus suffer.